Blue Aliens | I. The Visit
The sky was dark and the air was cold and blue as I watched for Diamond Dave and the group of alien governors. Of course, the weather had been mostly the same since the aliens arrived, for they couldn’t survive here otherwise. They came and modified our weather to suit their own needs.
I guess it wasn’t as though they hadn’t been invited. NASA had decided to burn a message on a cd and sent it out on the Voyager Millenium Edition. Never underestimate the disastrous effects that can be produced by budget cuts. The message, which had originally been planned to be a welcoming in every known language and a collection of ’70s mellow favorites, actually turned out to be four short sentences incompetently monotoned by Pat Summeral: “Come on by Earth. We have plenty. PLENTY. And more.”
Read the rest of this entry »Blue Aliens | II. The Motherland
The swollen moon swiftly climbed high into the night sky. A trail of plasma evaporated in the moon’s wake. Nervously, I watched the event with my head pressed against the cool bus window.
“What now?” I wondered to myself. Ever since those damn aliens had arrived, they had screwed up everything. Suddenly, we had Indian elephants in the Midwest, the atmosphere was eternally blue and dark. The temperature never rose above seventy degrees and never fell below sixty five.
Read the rest of this entry »Blue Aliens | III. Perception
I stared in disbelief, my mouth wide open. Two alien governors deboarded a Concorde jet. Their eyes were covered with thick black sunglasses, though I had no idea why, since they had melted the moon and thickened the Earth’s atmosphere with so much of the plasma that it was eternally twilight. They were just trying to look “cool.” The assholes.
The governors paused (for effect) and waived at the adoring audience. You would have thought Elvis had just walked down a golden stairway from heaven flanked by John Lennon and George Harrison. The crowd screamed with delight. The governors smiled and nodded, the deep yellow tint of their teeth visible even on my small television.
Read the rest of this entry »Blue Aliens | IV. Entrapment
A week had passed since my meeting at the Den. The clone was busy in the kitchen preparing my favorite, German chocolate cake. I was in the bedroom fixing her dresser, though I had never understood her need for one, since she never wore clothes. I was a bit frustrated trying to get the wooden slabs to fit back together properly and to stay in that position long enough for me to secure them. I was a cat farmer by trade. I had no clue about dressers.
I heard a knock at the front door and used my shirt-sleeve to wipe some sweat from my brow as I stood, “Now what the fuck?”
Read the rest of this entry »